The Name and the Number

[theodor_gylden]

Correspondence symbols lie scattered about you. Scrawled on paper, scratched on wood and stone. The pain behind your eyes swells. But you are close!

A revelation!

The name is hidden. Shrouded in the darkness that snuffs out eyes and minds. But fire glitters in the dark. You know the sting of that fire!

Theodor
*wakes scribbling on the sheets, on the frame of his bed, on his own skin*

You wipe the blood from your eyes and focus once more on the symbol. Its complexity is unprecedented, a knotted web of savage meaning, but the nearest interpretation is grotesquely prosaic'a number of candles'. Of course! Candles to light the way to the name! But what is the number? You must learn it. You must make it part of you. Mind, body and soul. You must brand yourself until you are more the number than yourself. Can you do such a thing? Could anyone? Marking your mind and your body will be painful enough. But does one mark the soul? Is it even possible? It is the way to the name. The way to the name. the way to the name

Is there more to the Snuffer than we realised? How can I know? How can I teach myself?

Henrik
*jolts upright when Theodor's muttering wakes him* Theodor ...?

Theodor
*looks at the sheets, head hot, the walls are wrong, the walls are wrong*

*calm, calm* Forgive me. Did I wake you?

Henrik
Of course you woke me. *touches his hand; his own hand might slide on sweat or ink* What the devil are you doing?

Theodor
I had a dream -- *his fingernails dipped in ink, to scratch letters on himself* -- a dream of the name.

Henrik
*now running his thumb over the edge of a scab or a bandage from the ivy* What did you learn, my dear?

Theodor
The name has been snuffed out. In Spite, I gave a church a thousand candles, and a beast dressed like a man -- or a man who moved like a beast -- devoured them. And I've seen, too, how swiftly candles die in the dark of Downside ... There is a significance, I think, to the Neath's taste for candles. To Mr Sacks's admonition that 'some candles should stay buried.'

And to rekindle the name, it will take a number of candles. I must learn the number.

Henrik
*considers, then nods* Recall, as well, the old Neathy joke about burning sinners for heat.

And the Russian cipher from last fall; why would the Snuffer impersonate a clergyman?

Theodor
*suddenly breaks out in frustration* Whatever I learn, I have never learned /enough/!

Henrik
*immediately attentive, embracing him* Socrates came to a similar realization, you know.

Theodor
*calming, calming -- to the Russian cipher* ... For his candles. Must I burn myself, too, for heat and light?

Henrik
*gently* A candle gives off no light at all, once it's been consumed; I shan't let you consume yourself utterly.

Theodor
*leaning like a boneless doll into his arms* I do desire to give off light. She has painted me like a saint, a teacher --

-- but I am the most ignorant of sinners.

Henrik
No more a sinner than I am. *kisses the top of his head* How might we go about learning the number?

Theodor
I think I know it. Or at least I apprehend it. But I must know it in body as well as in mind, in soul ...

It's as you said. It must be written on skin.

Henrik
And must you be the one to write it? Must you be the surface on which the number is scribed?

Theodor
I do not know ... *shrewd* Are you offering to hold the pen? To bear the number?

Henrik
*kisses his brow* Willingly. My body is your implement; I trust you to use it well.

Theodor
I do thank you. We will proceed together -- so that I do not consume myself, and you will not destroy yourself --

One cannot learn except through dialogue.

Henrik
How might I prepare myself for the effort?

Theodor
As one must prepare any implement -- keep yourself whole and sharp. *firm, holding Henrik's eyes*

... And I should do the same. I would rest, but ... first I must change the sheets, and take some draught of laudanum.

Henrik
I'll manage the sheets. Get yourself some laudanum. *will climb free of the blankets and begin to strip the bed*

*folds the sheets up neatly and preserves them against a future need*

Theodor
*rises, unsteady on his legs* ... I do thank you. *and softer, truer* I love you.

Henrik
And I love you. *softer still* I want to see you succeed.