Asking the Masters

[theodor_gylden]

[Fred's In Charge]

FRR_Obbs
Mine's a question. Any bugger knows: a fellow's got a name, and there are those as don't want it known.
But them as want it quiet don't like the fellow. That's as known as onions too.
So does the fellow 'imself want it known then? Why doesn't 'e just tell it? It doesn't make any sense.

curious_fellow
One theory is that it was taken from him. And that he no longer knows it.

FRR_Obbs
That's thinking! So the worry's that a fellow who learns the name might give it back? And then they'd all be hopping it?

henrik_paulsen
I wonder--if 'Mr Eaten' isn't Mr Eaten's true name, what of the other Masters?

FRR_Obbs
What if we asked? One each, we could do. I'll take Fires, he's a straightforward one as Fred can follow.

henrik_paulsen
What are you proposing that we ask? Their names? What they gain by denying Mr Eaten his own?

FRR_Obbs
Blimey, I meant the names. But you might be onto an udder with your one. That's scholarship, that.

Izzysalvador
But they all have extra different names! Mr Barley and Mr Marble and so forth! Maybe if we knew why they changed?
Maybe Mr Eaten couldn't change...?

FRR_Obbs
Are those true names, though? Or just names as a fellow takes on, to sell oranges and that?

Izzysalvador
Maybe not True, but they must have reasons for choosing them, or else they'd just be called Smith or Bob or Nimrod!

henrik_paulsen
Is 'Mr Eaten' a chosen name, then, or a given one?

Izzysalvador
Don't know! Does he offer what's Eaten? Unhygienic! Is he eaten? By what?
He is a giver! Like liver! But not organic. Is there a connection between the prizes he proffers? Are they all Eaten somehow?

FRR_Obbs
Right, Fred's in charge. Somebody's got to plant the carrot. Pages, Fires - who've you got, Hendrik? How about you, Izzy and the hat fellow?

henrik_paulsen
I shall ask Messrs Iron, Sacks, and Apples, if you wish.

Izzysalvador
I'll talk to Mr. Mirrors and Mr Hearts and Mr Pages and Mr Veils! Secrets, meat, and secrets! And blindfolds.

FRR_Obbs
Fred's in charge. What are we asking? You can't go into this sort of thing with an empty bucket.

henrik_paulsen
Names, and motives for suppressing names?

Izzysalvador
Sounds straight! What lies will we need? They, ah, might want to know why the Sudden Interest from all of us!

henrik_paulsen
I shall leave you the task of devising lies. I couldn't tell a convincing lie if my life depended upon it.

FRR_Obbs
Ah, that's where we each use our aubergine. That's why everyone's got their own private master, see? Planning.
Obbs - Fires. Weiss - Pages. Izzy - Veils. Hendrik - Iron. Fellow in the hat, sitting there quietly. Decoy. Merri - moral support.

Izzysalvador
Right! Let's get started! They'll never expect the Echo Inquisition! Or something. Hooray!

FRR_Obbs
O'clock's the beeswax. Time comes, everyone sends it off. All at once, see? Fred knows how to plan.
Everybody ready? Fred's ready.

Izzysalvador
Salvador standing! Just give the order! I'll give it back once I've finished with it!

henrik_paulsen
On your order, sir.

FRR_Obbs
For England!

[The Echo Inquisition]

FRR_Obbs @Mr_Fires
Fred just wanted to say, Sir. With the the utmost respect, and that. A thing like you, Sir, there's a lot to admire.
Fred was just wondering, on account of, we had a question. We was thinking, might you have another name?
'Cos there's this other fellow, see? The real quiet one. Fred knows you don't think much of the bugger.
And who's Fred to judge anyway! You fellows, well, you know your eggs. There's not much as gets past, Fred knows.
But Fred was thinking, well, what's so secret about his name? Seems like, you don't like the fellow, you'd want us to know?
Know the name, that is. What you want us to know, that's your penceworth. With respect, Sir. But it just seemed funny. To Fred.
Fred hopes you will take his long service into account, Sir.

Izzysalvador @Mr_Veils
A cloth by any other name is still a sheet! Have you had many names? Do they make a difference?
Do they keep your sheets safe from moths? Have moths Eaten sheets? Yours or any others!
Oh, and do the glovers know what Mr Eaten's name is? Is, uh, that the kind of thing a glover /would/ know?

henrik_paulsen @Mr_Iron
I must ask, since you are in the business of writing names: Why has Mr Eaten's name been suppressed? Do you know?

henrik_paulsen @Mr_Sacks
I recently encountered a man who believed that he had stolen your sack--but instead, it was filled with proscribed literature.
And yet I wonder if you might know something of forbidden words after all--specifically regarding the erasure of Mr Eaten's name.

henrik_paulsen @Mr_Apples
I have perceived a kind of acrimonious relationship between you and Mr Eaten -- and I may be wrong in saying so --
-- but I wished to ask, if you knew, what good it serves to suppress Mr Eaten's name?

FRR_Obbs
Oi, where's Muller? There's always some as find it easy to talk before the porridge is cooked.

Darien_Mason
Some insatiable friends are trying to subtly quiz the Masters on Mr Eaten. What can possibly go wrong?

cl0ckw0rks
It all feels a bit like watching an impending airship collision, doesn't it....

Izzysalvador
With lots of pretty fire and lovely loud explosions! Oh, this is FUN!

curious_fellow
I think that I will... stick to quizzing Mirrors regarding Parabola.

FRR_Obbs
Oi. Shh. You're supposed to be a decoy. Keep a dog on it.

Izzysalvador @Mr_Hearts
Oh, why stop at one! Mr Hearts! God of meat! Give me your wisdom! Tell me your names! I beseech thy for thy lardy favor! Or flavor!
Um, "I beseech thee for thy" I mean. And do you know Mr Eaten's name?

Izzysalvador @Mr_Pages
Have you had trouble with bookworms Eating names? Do you have extra names to eat? Do you have Mr Eaten's name?

FRR_Obbs
Oi! For goodness sake! FRED'S IN CHARGE.

Izzy_Salvador
Oh. Um. I got carried away... very sorry! You seem like a very Respectable Figure of Authority!

henrik_paulsen
Ought I not to have contacted the other Masters?

FRR_Obbs
Thing is, you're a smart fellow. You see a line, you know where not to bite it.

curious_fellow @Mr_Eaten
We still seek the name.

FRR_Obbs
OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE
EVERYBODY TRY TO STAY CLAM
You see a fellow in a hood, CONTROL YOURSELF.

henrik_paulsen
One must admit, asking the subject in question for his name /is/ an unexpected diversion.

Izzysalvador
I'm still waiting for the Masters' lovely explosions!

FRR_Obbs
Are we finished, yet? I think we're finished. Well done, everybody. Except Muller.
You see Muller, tell him Fred would like a word.

Izzysalvador
Right! Next time, no silly swerves! We listen to you, I don't try to follow Mister Paulsen, fewer people get deader!

henrik_paulsen
You ought to know better than to follow me. Need I remind you what happened last time the Danes led the English?

Izzysalvador
Um. They all had a good time and got cakes at the end?

FRR_Obbs
Lads. Lets not get into recripenations. You want to blame somebody, blame Muller.
Not that there's any as should be blaming. We did what we needed. Fred led. Fred delivered.

henrik_paulsen
Well--the /Danes/ did, yes. But FRR Obbs is right to direct us away from national questions.

Izzysalvador
Right-a-light! My family would've been in Portugal anyway!

FRR_Obbs
There are those as said it couldn't be be done. But Fred knew. Fred delivered.

henrik_paulsen
You certainly did, and for that, you deserve hearty congratulations.

Izzysalvador
Fred led! Fred led like he'd said! Fred's a great ledder inded!

FRR_Obbs
Any bugger can blind a goat for his echoes. Lads, we did it. We're on the bigger oats now, every one of us.
Fred's off. Lads, it's been something. Anytime, anytime. You want something from your brother Fred, you just say the word.

[Lovely Explosions]

Mr_Fires @FRR_Obbs
Flattery will get you nowhere, lad. My advice is to drop it before Mr Iron gets wind of your enquiry.

FRR_Obbs
Makes sense to Fred. Fellow like Irons, he must be in charge. Giving orders, and that. Grinding the oats.

Mr_Iron @henrik_paulsen
[Pursue this no further]

henrik_paulsen
I shall respect your caution, although I do not understand it.

Mr_Apples @henrik_paulsen
My dear, Mr Eaten is of no moment. It is not even a phantom. Do not permit it to trouble your dreams.

Mr_Hearts @Izzysalvador
Why all this sudden business of names? We have all the names we need. Though no doubt Mr Pages could sell you another

Izzysalvador
At least tell me this: Did you love meat, and then choose your name? Or did, ah, choose your name and love meat because of it?

Mr_Hearts
Why in Earth did you think I *chose* my name? Did you choose your own? How curious!

narcissus_echo @Mr_Wines
Mr darling Mr Wines, it seems all my friends are atwitter about true names to-day. Have you one? Is it Bromios?

Mr_Wines @narcissus_echo
Names are anything but true, my dear Narcissus. We did not always need such fripperies. Ah, for those times once more.

Mr_Iron @Mr_Wines
[Hush.]

Sinning_Jenny
Goodness, Mr Wines . Are you being somewhat indiscreet? Are you *gossiping*, in fact, dearest?

Mr_Cups
Tush, Mr Wines! We have forgotten those times! It is as we were promised: all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well!

Mr_Spices
It is no surprise to find Mr Wines disparaging Progress. It is, nevertheless, a disappointment.

Mr_Apples
Let us not bicker, Mr Spices, my dear. We are not alone.

Sinning_Jenny
Darling Mr Spices. *You* never gossip, sweetheart.

Mr_Spices
It would not befit my dignity.

Mr_Wines
Pay no attention to us, delicious children. We are forgetful and we ramble. Now, Feast! Rejoice! Cavort! Forget your troubles and ours.

Mr_Apples
Rejoice and forget, says Mr Wines! My dear, you were always the wisest of us.

awakeasaurusrex @Mr_Spices @Mr_Apples @Mr_Iron @Mr_Cups
You hush Mr Wines, but where is Mr Names in all this? Surely he has the last word on the subject.

Izzysalvador
Mr Names has never said anything, has he? /Can/ he say anything?

Mr_Wines
Mr Names speaks most wisely of us all upon the matter.

Izzysalvador
"Mr Names speaks most wisely of all of us upon the matter". Because he doesn't speak at all?

Mr_Wines
...